Ink to Blog

Being so comfortable that I can think about happiness

I have no big struggles at the moment. Weeks are flowing into one another and every week feels roughly the same, with small deviations. Months fly by in the blink of an eye. I am mostly healthy and can pursue my hobbies in my free time. I have a great social circle and I am blessed with wonderful friends. I feel privileged to not feel miserable, because many people don't share that experience. They feel empty inside, have mental or physical problems or have a hard time staying afloat.

I can make myself feel worse if I focus on what life has to give to me or what I want from life. I wonder if that's it, if that is everything life has to give. I also wonder what could still that hunger inside of me, wanting more out of my existence. Creating things makes me happier overall, but it still does not satisfy my hunger. When I listen to my inner voice, I doubt that one single thing can make me truly happy.

It is great to have the headspace to think about stuff like this. I'm near the top of the hierarchy of needs, because I can focus on my self-actualization without facing immovable obstacles. But that opens the door to another kind of unhappiness. There are so many possibilities and factors that can contribute to a good life and I am not sure what to pick, or which picks have the desired outcome. I experience decision paralysis thinking about the next steps I need to take and I don't want to make mistakes. Nothing pushes me in a specific direction because I feel comfortable.

Shouldn't I enjoy feeling comfortable?