Ink to Blog

The gifter's reward

Gifting can be fulfilling. The gifting person almost always gains something as much as the receiver of our present. Many of our actions are driven by motivation. Gifting is also one of them. Seeing the other person happy or showing them how much we care rewards us enough to put effort into the gift. If we remove ourselves from the equation, the gift loses its purpose. We want the receiver to know that we made the effort to show our appreciation.

Anonymous gifts don't hold the same weight. We want to see the reaction or witness the effects the present had on our relationship. When choosing or creating the gift, we already think about how the person will like it or react to it, not merely how useful it is. The gift holds a permanent reference to the gifter and it can alter the relationship for the better.

There are people who get a lot out of the process of coming up with a gift, more than others. They will research and be creative. They want to make sure that the receiver knows how much effort it took. From the outside, it looks as if the process were more like a hobby, because they really enjoy it.

This only applies to personal gifts, where we put effort into choosing something for the other person. It has to come from our own motivation and not from obligation, for example when the other person has already decided what they want.