Avoiding journaling when it would help the most

I would benefit the most from journaling when I have no desire to do it. When I am content with myself, I experience no resistance while writing down my thoughts. They can flow easily and there is nothing uncomfortable about it. The habit is easier to uphold, but less reflection is taking place. I don't have to reflect deeply about my circumstances when everything is going well.

When I am in a crisis, I have a harder time expressing myself on paper. Not that I can't write stuff down when my notebook is lying in front of me, but getting to that situation is just more taxing. I don't want to open the book. I avoid self-reflection and seek short-term pleasures to distract me. Pulling myself out of it takes effort, and we often avoid effort when there is a non-confrontational option available. I know that journaling doesn't have to be such a self-confronting thing (it can be whatever you want it to be), but for me, it often is. I have to reach a point where I really want to exit a slump to get serious about journaling again. Before that, I use it to vent and to sort my thoughts, but not to search for a solution. Venting is helpful too, but my misery will just go on forever and the patterns will repeat themselves, while nothing about my actual situation changes.

So in situations where I would probably benefit the most from journaling, I try to avoid it. And in situations where it is mostly just a healthy and positive habit, I have no issue writing every day. Sitting with yourself can feel like work if you want to gain insights about your life, or if you experience the need to change something. I don't want journaling to be something that has to yield results every time I do it, but I know that it can be especially helpful in circumstances where I have a harder time putting pen to paper.